“Robert Pattinson is a Sex God”

Carrie Wittmer from The Ringer decided to spend “four months, 30 movie stars, 128 sex scenes…researching which actors have had the most sexually ambitious careers”. It turns out Rob sits in at no. 2 and rightly so Carrie considers Rob a “sex God” – it’s not only you Carrie. Here are some of her findings:

I’ve spent the past four months watching sex scenes to determine which seeming sex symbols actually, you know, have sex in movies.

After curating a list of 30 men that best represents Hollywood in 2020, I figured out which films each actor has a sex scene in and watched those films, timing the scenes. 

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Sex scene frequency (or infrequency) is inversely proportional to movie star status. The more commercially driven movies an actor is in, the fewer sex scenes the actor will have. Robert Pattinson—who moved toward working with weird, auteuristic directors post-Twilight before signing on to be Batman in 2020—and the Oscar-fare-only Leonardo DiCaprio will have the most sex scenes. 

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Furthermore, actors who more frequently star in lower-budget productions and/or “serious” R-rated films—the kind the Academy pays attention to—probably appear in sex scenes more often. Without a major studio in control of a production and an actor’s image, riskier scenes are more likely. Pattinson, who was the star of a (very horny) major motion picture franchise and for the past decade has led weird indie films, falls under this category. He is also the first person I thought of when I thought about actors who have a lot of on-screen sex. A respected Oscar-winning actor like DiCaprio, who mostly stars in R-rated dramas by respected directors like Martin Scorsese, also represents the latter.

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Robert Pattinson’s only bad sex scene is with Julianne Moore in a car in 2014’s Maps to the Stars. The movie is bad, but most importantly, their hearts just weren’t in it.

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Robert Pattinson seemingly kisses Uma Thurman’s butt in Bel Ami (2012). This film was the hardest to find, because it is not available to rent on any platform in the United States. But I knew this movie was essential, because according to my research, it is the one in which Pattinson has the most sex. After weeks of searching, I convinced myself this movie had been erased from existence, and asked a friend to message a Robert Pattinson Tumblr account asking for Bel Ami sex GIFs (am I Breaking Bad’s Dean Norris?). The Robert Pattinson Tumblr account did not respond, because they probably thought my friend was a federal agent trying to catch stan accounts violating copyright laws. Eventually, though, I found a very legal streaming link that kept giving me pop-ups to a site called C*** Wars.

Click on the link to read the full analysis